normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
