I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
