i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
