i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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