my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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