I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
no, he came in my armpit
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize
