How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
