Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
