How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
