So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
