She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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