It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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