I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
