i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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