Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
