Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
