i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
