You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
