His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
