Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Randomize
