Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
