Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
He kissed a someone with a penis
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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