My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize