The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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