Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
