using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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