I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
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