I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
