evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
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