i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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