A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
