Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
pop tarts are not kleenex
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
