I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
