My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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