apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
smell my finger.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Randomize
