i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
