One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Randomize
