Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize
