um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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