I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize