Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
