we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize