The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
