After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
