My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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