Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
only you would photoshop your dick
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
