pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
