omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i just made my gag reflex go away.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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