I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
