He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
