we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
