A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
