i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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