So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
