Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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