My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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