Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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