I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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