Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Randomize
