yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
