And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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