i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
